So wHat iF im b|tchy* [ YOu caN geT LosT bY aLL mEans ] [ I duN giVe a daMn oN waT oR h0w u LoOk aT mE, BITCH...! ]

Sunday, March 27, 2005

I'm damn bad today... I'm supposed to werk n today ooutlet is onli 1+1, which means ders is onli 1 barista n 1 manager running da outlet... And guess wat..?? The onli barista werkin was me n i didn't go fer werk juz now.. hahaz... I'm so so so sorry Shareen.. Hahaz... Shidah werkin too but she is posted to kiosk today.. And thankz Fai fer replacin me.. Hehe.. Appreciate it lots n hope ya had a great time werkin wit Shareen.. Hahaz.. She ain't dat bad anyway... Kind of cool.. Depends on her mood dude... Hahaz..

I told Ken early in da morn dat i can't cum to werk coz i had a slight fever n stomachache... Wen actually I had onli a stomachache while dat fever is yet to cum.. And thankz fer bein concerned.. Really appreciate it.. And thankz Azahar fer ringin me up juz to noe whether I'm alrite... It's so sweet of ya.. Hehez.. ;)

Actually ma body was feelin so weak after had a big fight wit ma younger sis at ma tutor's house at midnight... Believe it..?? Shouting across the room at each other, explainin n arguing every shit dat comes to mind, tryin ma bez to wake ma very defensive sis in da middle of the night...??!! Haiz... I can feel ma voice is goin worse each time I shout... I was strong but wen it came to da very emo side, I broke down... Didn't want to.. Haiz.. Ma tutor was kinda shocked wen I say those shit.. Luckily, she understands ma shit n we both were tryin to make ma sis realise wat is actually wrg wit her... Things hv change slowly ever since late last yr but we've bn toleratin it n it came to a point dat we decided dat we hv to put an end to her crapz.. She can't accept wat she is bein told.. And I juz realised dat she has a VERY high expection on ma parents, ma tutors n esp me..! Haiz... Sarcifice.. Dun understand y I always need to go tru this shit wen I tried to get away... I'm very saddened upon hearin every single shit dat came out from her mouth.. It's really hurtin n it did break ma heart into pieces..

Zakiah: You weren't der for me...! You were der physically but not mentally..! You dun even hv time fer me.. You didn't see ma changes n wat for should I change wen no one cares..?? You were busy and always in a bad mood weneva I wanna talk.. And I dun always ask ur help but wen it comes to u, I helped out wen I wanna rest..

Sm wer like dat, is wat she said.. but was broken into her own lines.. Fuck lah.. Smtimes, I realised dat ur own blood wun realise n appreciate even a small shit dat u've done fer dem esp da one dat u love most.. And it hurts more wen I see ma mum broke down.. Juz coz of ma sis's shit freakin attitude, she said she ain't a good mum n failed to bring out da bez.. Arrgghhh.. Even made ma dad lost of werds wen wanna make things out wit her.. This all shit has make me hate her more.. They r her parents n y u wanna make dem suffer..?? They love u so much n its juz dat u r not bothered to look in depth.. You onli look at da appearance n wat is onli happenin in front of ur eyes..?? Did u ever tot of wat dey r goin tru..?? And as fer us, we both r 3 yrs apart.. Its not dat far n u can't b me... U hv to b urself.. Find ur identity.. Wat fer ya should b a copycat Zakiah wen u can b da unique Zakiah..?? I'm on a diff path from u.. I'm not equal to u... No one is perfect.. Fuck lah.... Guess I stop here.. Makin me feelin more worse than a shit if I continue..

:: LiFe iS nEvEr dA waY wE wAnT iT oto bE ::

she bitched
at 9:39 AM